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Joke of the Day

"I was standing in the elevator at work and I couldn't remember why I was mad... Then it hit me"

"*watches as both hands turn into devils* *looks over sink* HAND SATANIZER ""Oh, this is just great"""

"I needed a password eight characters long... ... so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."

"I lost my to-do list I don't know what to do"

"I'm going to go to the gym and then to eat a Doritos Loco Taco, because I like to keep my body guessing whether or not I hate it."

"Your ex-girlfriend has endorsed you on LinkedIn for ""Ignoring Glaring Personal Issues!"""

"Alcohol activates the ""we need to take pictures now!"" center of your brain."

"I love drowning... It just takes my breath away."

"Which three American Generals won the most during the cold war? General Motors, General Electric, and General Dynamics."

"Why are black people unfair? Because they're unfair."