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Joke of the Day

"AMERICA: Where someone will eventually figure out how to fry Vodka"

"I take my women like i take my stairs. Two at a time."

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out standing in his field!"

"Survey Says A survey found that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house, and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife."

"Just blew pot smoke on the huge spider hiding in my shower. I figure if I do this a few more times, he'll be too stoned to attack me."

"My girlfriend is a porn star. She's going to be so pissed off when she finds out."

"What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ? A bird that talks in morse code !"

"'Sorry officer but how was I to know that weird noise my car was making was a bicycle stuck in my mudflap?'"

"Want to make a nerd's head explode? Go to any site that posted the new Star Wars trailer & write ""Where's Captain Kirk?"" in the comments."

"I think my neighbour's been stalking me, she's been googling my name on her computer I saw it through my telescope last night"