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Joke of the Day

"""You are what you eat"", said the cannibal."

"My girlfriend's a bouncer I only found out because I saw her fall out of a window."

"How do you castrate a guy from Kentucky? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"What sound does a turkey now make? Coup."

"Did you know there's a type of spider that eats snails and uses the shell as armor to attack birds? That's not true. I'm sorry."

"How are puppet shows and politics similar? They are both a bunch of silly characters yapping at each other with someone else's hands up their asses."

"You know how horny the Romans were back then? For fuck's sake, they even nailed Jesus!"

"Nothing like an 8:00 meeting on a Monday morning to remind you that your best years are behind you."

"gotta love cousins... what do you call a hispanic man who's car got jacked? Carlos. what do you call the italian man who stole it? Carmine."

"And the Lord said to John "" Come forth and you shall receive eternal life"" But John came fifth and won a toaster Credits: An ask Reddit post"