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Joke of the Day

"How are puppet shows and politics similar? They are both a bunch of silly characters yapping at each other with someone else's hands up their asses."

"How does constipation work? I don't give a shit."

"What's the difference between Pizza and Jews during the Holocaust? Pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven."

"the printer in my office is fondly called Bob Marley it keeps jamming"

"When someone says, ""Good luck with that'' they actually mean ""Let me grab some popcorn so I can watch you fail."""

"Only when a mosquito lands on your balls do you realize That violence is not always the option"

"My girlfriend is getting bored of my obsession with pretending to be a detective, she's suggested we should split up. It's a good idea, we'll cover more ground that way."

"I dig, she dig, we dig, he dig, they dig, you dig ... Maybe not a funny joke but at least it is deep."

"What's reddit without the R&D? Edit:"

"What's long thin and smells of piss? Old people doing the conga."