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Joke of the Day

"How do you castrate a guy from Kentucky? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Lexus? Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus..."

"A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London. After the captain shutdown the engines you could still hear the whining."

"Bobby Flay's sister is pretty big in the dessert game too. Sue Flay."

"""Very colorful, fun. I'd put it in my mouth"" ""A bit scary, seems sharp. Still, I'd put it in my mouth"" -Baby reviews of stuff on the floor"

"You know you're drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seat-belt on"

"I bet Jane didn't know Tarzan swings both ways."

"I introduced my new girlfriend to my family last night... ""This is my dad Roger,"" I said, ""And this is my twin brother Dave."" ""Nice to meet you,"" she smiled. ""Who's the oldest?"" I said, ""My dad."""

"One of my dad's favorites about flying ""You know there are more planes at the bottom of the ocean than submarines in the sky. They have never left one up there."""

"The Better Paleo Diet I'm on the Paleo diet, except I'm the caveman who discovered Snickers."