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Joke of the Day

"gotta love cousins... what do you call a hispanic man who's car got jacked? Carlos. what do you call the italian man who stole it? Carmine."

"What is the best part about taking a shower? Not being able to see yourself in the mirror afterward."

"A depressed man walked into a bar... He told the bartender to give him his best shot"

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

"I should try my hand at high stakes poker because I'm pretty good at keeping a straight face when knowingly using an expired coupon."

"Whats blue and smells like red paint? blue paint"

"i just want someone to love me as much as sean penn loves haiti"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Abbey ! Abbey who ? Abbey stung me on the nose !"

"I've been seeing a lot of these lately, so here is mine. I like my steak like I like my women. White and domineering."

"What does Monica Lewinsky say to call her dog over? ""Come, spot!"""