55204

Joke of the Day

"The restaurant said they couldn't seat me right away due to lack of waiters I said, ""That's alright, I'll wait""."

"What is the difference between Detroit and Cleveland? 5 years."

"Someone asked me recently what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife."

"Does pornography degrade women? Or does it merely raise the standard by which they are judged?"

"Pretty Punny! What did the cat stripper say when she found out she was being replaced by a younger pussy?????? You've gotta be Kitten me!"

"How do you make a Jewish girl scream twice? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the bedspread."

"Why I don't watch science documentaries with my mum. Man on TV: Microwaves travel at the speed of light Mum: Fuck me, that's impressive. Microwaves are heavy."

"At the grocery store. Customer: ""Are these GMO carrots?"" Worker: ""No, why do you ask?"" Carrot: ""Yeah, why do you ask?"""

"Whenever someone tells me ""make yourself at home"" at their house, I always clog their toilet"

"Stop scrolling. You need to sleep. (:"