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Joke of the Day

"Pretty Punny! What did the cat stripper say when she found out she was being replaced by a younger pussy?????? You've gotta be Kitten me!"

"My local bar had an amateur magic night, a gay magician sat on a bar stool and made it disappear. Thank you, I'll walk myself out."

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat."

"I was really hesitant about this new haircut at first.... ...but I'm starting to like it you know. It's really growing on me. Sorry I'll leave now."

"""Keep pumping until something happens."" -Home Depot guy teaching me to prime the snow blower says the first thing I've understood."

"When I found out Carl was a beekeeper I stopped loaning him bees."

"Did you hear about the new HBO series that investigates gambling in sports? It's called Thrown Games."

"According to all these BMI charts... I DEFINITELY need to get taller next year."

"I bet the guy who invented fake dog shit was upset the name ""shampoo"" was taken"

"How do you make holy water? You boil the hell outta it."