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Joke of the Day

"At the grocery store. Customer: ""Are these GMO carrots?"" Worker: ""No, why do you ask?"" Carrot: ""Yeah, why do you ask?"""

"I recently found out that my aunt is both a bigot and illiterate when... she refused to shop at the local fabric store because they were having a sale, but it was only for muslins."

"If you're not wearing the shirt you slept in, you're doing Sunday wrong."

"Whoever said white people can't jump... clearly hasn't seen footage from 9/11"

"Leviticus 20:13 legalises gay marriage and marijuana: ""If a man lays with another man he should be stoned""."

"Did you hear that great joke about Schrodinger's cat?"

"Why did the clock phone the ruler? Because desperate times call for desperate measures...."

"What did the customer say to the overworked seamstress? Wow, you seamstressed out. (I'm so sorry)"

"The awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and can't do i"

"Scary shit happens in horror movies at 3am. So when hubby woke up screaming with a leg cramp at 3am, I threw the bible at him."