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Joke of the Day

"What did the statistician say to the hooker as he pulled out his 5.2-inch manhood? ""I heard you suck a mean cock"""

"Why did the Irishman eat only two hundred and thirty-nine beans? Because eating one more would have been two-farty."

"What is an elephants favourite film ? Elephantasia"

"I wish crappy people weren't allowed to like my favorite band."

"Charlie Sheen's herpes have herpes and those herpes have gonorrhea and that gonorrhea had an abortion in high school."

"What do soy beans and dildos have in common? They are both meat substitutes!"

"My wife and I just had a daughter and named her JuneJulyAugust. We call her Summer for short."

"Two monkeys in a bath , the 1st monkey says ""oooooohh ooooohh aaahhhh aaahhhh "" and the second monkey says "" well put more cold in"" ."

"I was so bored last night I decided to make a belt out of all my watches It was a complete waist of time"

"I just found the Wand of Transfiguration! This changes everything!"