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Joke of the Day

"What did the statistician say to the hooker as he pulled out his 5.2-inch manhood? ""I heard you suck a mean cock"""

"Is your name WiFi, because I'm feeling the connection"

"I think I might be famous because twitter just asked me to verify my account. Does this mean I have to do coke now?"

"Robert De Niro was worried he was having symptoms of Schizophrenia. He went to his doctor and said... ""I heard things."""

"What is the least attractive binary ionic compound? Iron (II) oxide"

"What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out."

"Where's the best view of falling stars in Los Angeles? The Betty Ford Clinic"

"One time a girl tried sleeping with me for adderall... She was a total attention whore."

"The reason cats are so pissy is they're God's perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them"

"A son to his mother: Mum, I don't like grandma. The mother: Shut up, we eat what we have!"