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Joke of the Day

"Robert De Niro was worried he was having symptoms of Schizophrenia. He went to his doctor and said... ""I heard things."""

"What did Schwarzenegger say when deciding which composer to be for Halloween? I'll be Bach."

"What is mozart doing nowadays? Decomposing"

"Mom always said she didn't have a favorite child, which was tough because I don't have any brothers or sisters."

"My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think."

"How many judges does it take to change a light bulb? Just one; he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him. Just one but two lawyers have to explain him how to do it."

"The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"What was the cat painting A self pawtrait."

"I don't see the point of being a godmother if the kid refuses to kiss my ring. I mean, what the hell?"

"How do cows get their gossip? They herd it through the bovine."