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Joke of the Day

"welcome to fireman school. raise ur hand if you thought this was firefighter school *all hands raise* wrong *lights self on fire* FIREMAN"

"Poker is a game of pretending you've got something better than you really do. Poker sounds a lot like my marriage."

"I been working on my summer bod: it the same as my regular body, but this time more popsackles in it."

"How do lumber theives offload their stolen goods? They fence it."

"I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed."

"The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about."

"What is west saharan favourite number? Data not avalible."

"this one has claws This one swims but can't fly This one is huge & runs funny This one bangs his head against trees - god making birds"

"Just said, ""Because I said so!,"" and my mom called demanding her royalty check."

"What do you do when you are riding a horse, and a cheetah and ostrich are chasing you? You get your drunk ass off the carousel!"