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Joke of the Day

"this one has claws This one swims but can't fly This one is huge & runs funny This one bangs his head against trees - god making birds"

"She uses her boyfriends toothbrush without his knowledge and wears his underwear every day....I eat a dog biscuit ONCE and I'M the weirdo???"

"My rum-raisin cake is gluten free. It's also raisin free. And cake free. OK it's just rum."

"We had a proper, serious, grown-up discussion about pornography recently, and my girlfriend said, ""I don't get porn. Why would I want to watch to people have sex?"" I said, ""Two? People?"""

"Feminism Joke Man: So what do you want? Feminist: I want equal rights and liberties as men. Man: I couldn't agree with you more... because if I did, you would have a problem with that."

"That moment you could pass as an Olympic speed walker because you are racing to the bathroom."

"Wife caught me whacking off to golden shower porn... Boy was she pissed"

"If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically."

"What do you call a gay Jamaican? A Pokemon."

"Clocks in Heaven"