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Joke of the Day

"Poker is a game of pretending you've got something better than you really do. Poker sounds a lot like my marriage."

"What did the man say when he put his package into a mailbox? ""I thought it was a female box"""

"What kind of bee will not take credit for his contributions? A Humblebee."

"So the Boston marathon was yesterday... I heard it was an arm and a leg better than last year!"

"*wakes up after all night party* *rolls over* *rolls over* *rolls over* How did I get on this escalator?"

"I accidently filled the escort with diesel.... And she died."

"A cheetah stalking its prey would be jealous of the way I pounce on the Skip Ad button on YT once the 5 seconds are up."

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year and it is always down the chimney."

"When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday... I'm starting to believe him."

"A Bitter Army Veteran storms into a classroom and shouts ""If it weren't for me you'd all be speaking German!"" ""That's right"" replies the German teacher."