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Joke of the Day

"Why would John F. Kennedy make a horrible boxer? Because he can't take a shot to the head."

"Guy exposes himself with a boner and is arrested. How did he get off? It wouldn't stand up in court"

"If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between ""shit"" and ""syphilis"""

"""As first lady you would be responsible for the White House china. Any thoughts?"" MELANIA TRUMP: Oh, Donald says he's getting rid of China"

"This 5 year old is taking a call from his secret agent on a calculator and now I hate my phone."

"My resolution for 2016 is to call Starbucks ""Starbrights"" and Reese Witherspoon ""Ruth Witherspooks"" to keep my grandmother's legacy alive."

"The year is 2316. Humans have 12ft long arms from centuries of taking selfies."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? ""ghughgugjjch"""

"[dentist's full hand and wrist in my mouth, also his keys?] so u visited Spain u said? tell me. tell me every goddamn detail about Spain"

"A man gets pulled over... the officer asks the man ""Are you drunk right now?"" The man behind the wheel says ""I swear to drunk I'm not god"""