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Joke of the Day

"[dentist's full hand and wrist in my mouth, also his keys?] so u visited Spain u said? tell me. tell me every goddamn detail about Spain"

"""Can we have 'Punctuation Sex' tonight?"" I asked the wife. ""What do you mean, 'Punctuation Sex?"" she queried. ""It's where I put my semi in your colon ..."""

"I bet Jane didn't know Tarzan swings both ways."

"Want to hear a joke? It's called my life"

"How do you restore your body back to 'factory settings'? Is it kale? it's kale, isn't it? please don't say kale."

"Friend asked me a personal question: Do I ever stick it in my girlfriend's... you know... her other hole? Ew no, she might get pregnant that way."

"Someone talked to me today about having two X chromosomes. Typical woman."

"I don't know why Russia is so homophobic. Most of the women there look like men anyway."

"What happens if I put a vial in another vial and then in another vial? It doesn't matter."

"Fat joke with girlfriend Me : I want to go to McDonald's grab something to eat Gf : yeah that's what fat people do !!! Me : alright then you can grab something for me ! Thanks babe :)))"