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Joke of the Day
"If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between ""shit"" and ""syphilis"""
Next Joke
"The Human Centipede review I found it a little tongue-in-cheek... Source: Dad"
"There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini"
"I dig, You dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig. It's not a good poem, but it's deep."
"Some people should be recalled."
"[starbucks] One tall iced latte please ""Ok, can I have a name?"" Well ok but it really should come from your parents"
"I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don't think it's weird when I have jam in my hair."
"People say I have poor grammar I guess I'm just unarticulate"
"But Honey, if I stop eating this third bowl of Cap'n Crunch just because the roof of my mouth is bleeding, then the terrorists have won."
"Why not use a see-through, clear plastic hang glider just to freak everyone out?"