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Joke of the Day

"This 5 year old is taking a call from his secret agent on a calculator and now I hate my phone."

"Some patients are going to die, & you have to learn to accept that. It's just part of being an extremely bad chiropractor."

"James Bond and Money Penny are locked in a trunk... Money Penny: What's that jabbing me in the gluteus maximus? Bond: my PPK? Money Penny: 'K"

"These sex jokes are in really poor taste and they need to stop. I mean, cum on, guys."

"If I ever need a heart transplant, I'd want my ex's. It's never been used."

"My only goal is to run into Steven Spielberg, beg him to let me pitch a movie, and then pretend like I don't realize I'm describing Jaws"

"Are we heading in the right direction, Yoda? - ""Off-course we are"""

"I was going to upload a gay joke on this sub. But fuck it."

"What do you call an angry German? A sour kraut."

"I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole."