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Joke of the Day

"A man gets pulled over... the officer asks the man ""Are you drunk right now?"" The man behind the wheel says ""I swear to drunk I'm not god"""

"Me: My computer broke IT guy: What have you tried so far? Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing"

"What kind of bee makes milk? A boobee!"

"My inflatable girlfriend always looks surprised when I walk into the room."

"I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!"

"WIFE: omg Will Smith's son, Jaden, is dead ME: where'd you see that? W: Facebook M: I'm pretty sure that's a hoax W: no Facebook is real"

"Why did the Native American undergo cellular respiration? To make A TP"

"Landing a plane isn't hard. Taking off again though, that can be tricky."

"Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough!"

"Bathroom Break A client told me she had to cut our meeting short to go to the bathroom.... she was full of shit."