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Joke of the Day

"i was going to tell a gay joke... buttfuckit"

"What was the problem with the midget prostitute? She was always selling herself short."

"Why did the sailor ground his son? His grades were below sea level ^^im ^^so ^^sorry"

"Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand? She needs the other to moan."

"My professor asked me to give an example of a word whose definition got reversed. I literally had no answer."

"Who's this Rorschach guy... And why does he paint so many penises?"

"My therapist says I'm paranoid. He didn't *actually* say that I but I know he was thinking it."

"old people love to comment on news stories ""these are sad times we're living in"" like humans only recently started being pieces of shit"

"Maybe if I answer the door naked the pizza delivery guy won't realize I paid with Monopoly money."

"I've clicked on every shady ad that I've seen for the past 12 years. My penis is now 648 feet long."