206719

Joke of the Day

"old people love to comment on news stories ""these are sad times we're living in"" like humans only recently started being pieces of shit"

"*takes a picture of mother nature* MOTHER NATURE: delete it"

"the poor people on welfare should not eat steak and sea food. they should be drinking raw sewage out of an old boot while thanking me"

"Ahhh.......I love the sounds of autumn; that old familiar crunch of Halloween candy wrappers on the floor."

"To punish me, my 2yr old shuts herself in her room. She can shut, but not open, doors. She ends up trapped in a self-imposed timeout. #irony"

"I quit smoking cold turkey 1 year ago but sometimes I still get the urge to go into fridge and light up a slice"

"I used to have a job circumcising elephants.. It was shit work but the tips were massive."

"German Did you hear about the new German microwave oven? It seats 25."

"What is the clumsiest bee? A bumbling bee."

"What is the issue with Dr. Dre's releases? Chronic delays."