87271

Joke of the Day

"My therapist says I'm paranoid. He didn't *actually* say that I but I know he was thinking it."

Next Joke
 
"A man started to throw words beginning with 'th' at me I dodge this, then and there but I didn't see that coming - Tim Vine"
"When does a bed grow longer? At night because two feet are added to it."
"Just slammed 12 wheatgrass shots now everyone at Whole Foods is trying to take my keys"
"I have some great kitchen puns. They're really pantastic."
"Instead of washing your hands after going to the toilet Just give your cock a good clean in the morning. Badly remembered Jimmy Carr joke."
"What gets wet as it dries? Texas after a drought."
"Why did the one eyed banker lose his job? He didn't have any debtperception."
"What kind of glass do they put up in restaurant windows to make people want to eat more? Hunger panes."
"April showers bring May flowers. And car bombs, suicide bombers, beheadings, etc. Tis the season."