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Joke of the Day

"Who's this Rorschach guy... And why does he paint so many penises?"

"What do you call a foot doctor, curled up in a ball on the floor? A pedal physician in the fetal position."

"Nothing like riding a motorcycle without a helmet. The wind blowing through your hair... the warm pavement on your face..."

"Shout out to my kids. BECAUSE SHOUTING IS THE ONLY WAY THEY HEAR ME."

"What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur? A Lickalotofpuss"

"I really can't stand listening to dubstep... I guess it just wubs me the wrong way."

"Did you hear about my time machine? I sold it next week"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He lay awake in bed all night, wondering if there was really a dog."

"What on Earth did the NASA discover? Nothing, it was on Mars"

"What do you call tities in the middle of your beer? Better."