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Joke of the Day

"Maybe if I answer the door naked the pizza delivery guy won't realize I paid with Monopoly money."

"What does an egg say when its ""turnt up""? Omlet!"

"A really hot girl asked me for my number today and all I had to do was hit her car with my car."

"People on Facebook Nowadays: *Clicks pic while sipping coffee* *Posts as DP with irrelevant caption: Every scar makes me who I am* WTF?"

"Two guys walk into a bar... Two guys walk into a bar near the optometrist, but the third one already got his glasses, so he's fine."

"What did the ZERO say to the EIGHT? 0 - Nice belt. 8 - thank you :)"

"Working for Kotex would actually be a logical way to pad your resume."

"How is a photon like an abandoned church? They have no mass."

"I think this lady I'm stalking just found out. She changed her wifi name to: ""Hey you in the tree. I've called the cops."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Avery ! Avery who ? Avery time I come to your house we go through this !"