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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ? Pupil: I get up early !"

"They say you should test your fire alarm once a month... But it's costing me a fortune in houses!"

"Me: Can I have some of your candy? 3-year-old: Can I have some of your beer? Me: 3: Me: 3: Me: Deal. Wife: NO!"

"At the grocery store. Customer: ""Are these GMO carrots?"" Worker: ""No, why do you ask?"" Carrot: ""Yeah, why do you ask?"""

"America, you're fired. Love, United Nations"

"Her: I love you. Me: I love YouTube."

"What is the difference between Trump's tie and a horse's tail? The horse's tail covers the whole asshole"

"Boss, I can't come in today. Got a bad case of- *puts hand over phone* -what was it again? Daughter: Boogeritis. *to phone* It's Boogeritis."

"5/6 people agree... ...that Russian Roulette is a great way to gamble."

"Bear Grylls is hunting his next meal He carefully makes his bow and arrow, finds rabbit prints and follows them. After 3 hours he finds the rabbit lines up his shot and missed... Just by a hare."