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Joke of the Day

"Daughter: Mom, there's a man outside. Me: Get the net!"

"What does a geography graduate do with a lightbulb? Not get a job."

"German sausages, eh? They're the Wurst!"

"Don't you wish after a break-up you wouldn't get phone stalked & mail stalked & email stalked? It's OVER, American Express. Let. Me. Go."

"You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you."

"You wanna hear a joke? Me attempting to tell a funny joke."

"Doctor: You have acute alcoholism. Me: Thanks, but let me tell you it's not very cute in the morning."

"Sorry I said your cat was ugly. Oh, and sorry for thinking your baby was a cat."

"I was gonna make a joke about Alzheimers.. ..but I forgot what it was."

"What is worse than waking up with your dick in your mouth after sleeping with your gf? Waking up with her dick in your mouth"