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Joke of the Day

"Don't you wish after a break-up you wouldn't get phone stalked & mail stalked & email stalked? It's OVER, American Express. Let. Me. Go."

"Don't mess around with asexuals They don't fuck around."

"Well well well. If it isn't old Saint Nick trying to slide down this chimney after ignoring my texts for a year."

"*crawls seductively across bed* *elbow gives out*"

"Where do Sith lords go to shop? The Darth Mall."

"If you need a distraction from the election there is a new American reality TV series starting soon. It's called The White House. Apparently the lead actor has been given a 4 season contract."

"Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You pick up the wrong phone."

"You know what a Rhetorical Joke is?"

"What is an algorithm When the presidential candidate goes to a DiscoTech"

"I think I ate too much salmon over Christmas I just tried to run up an escalator that was going down."