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Joke of the Day

"You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you."

"Got late on my first day at work, blamed it on Rush Hour. Got late on the 2nd day, Blamed it on Rush Hour 2"

"What idiot called it a driver's test and not a Game of Cones?"

"At the mattress store I set all the sleep numbers to 69, because I'm hilarious and original and sexy."

"What is the difference between New York City and the deep south? In the deep south they at least had a show trial before letting murders walk free."

"How many ants can you fit inside an apartment ? Ten-ants !"

"What spice do you find in hell? SINammon (Sorry)"

"""Hi, I'm Garfield, a cat who hates Mondays. But I'm here to tell you that there's nothing lasagna' about global warming."""

"Last night my Professor told me to read Bartleby the Scrivner... I would prefer not to."

"I wrote 'DIVORCE', my wife wrote 'YES'. Tough way to find out, but at least I won our last game of Scrabble."