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Joke of the Day
"Just bought a set of alphabet magnets for my fridge, so this may very well be my last tweet."
Next Joke
"I got a girl's number today! All I had to do was hit her car."
"Not that I hate you.. But I'll unplug your life support to charge my phone"
"Did You Know Willie Nelson Just Died? He was playing On The Road Again."
"I'd like your advice on this, as long as it agrees with what I already did"
"Q. Why can't men get mad cow disease? A. Because they're all pigs."
"What's big, black and steals you credit card? Sony Playstation 3"
"What was Aladdin called after he went Vegan? Saladdin."
"How do you know when you're at a gay picnic? The hotdogs taste like shit."
"What is the worst city to be a cop in? Baltimore, I hear it's backbreaking work."