59269

Joke of the Day

"I have a friend who is half-Indian... He's Ian."

"What do you call it when you think you've lost your Italian cured meat, but then you find it again? A falsalami"

"Baby baby... Poopy. (This joke was written by a three year old I know.)"

"I'm not saying she faked her orgasm, all I'm saying is my p enis wasn't even in."

"When I die, can you do me a favor and tell my wife that I loved her? Thanks. Oh and delete my tweets. My password is thisbitchiskillingme."

"What did one dog say to the other when he wanted a marker? ""Pass the Shar Pei, please."""

"[robbing Whole Foods] ""All the cash in a bag NOW!"" 100% organic reusable bag ok? ""Yes!"" [puts half the cash] I had to charge for the bag"

"I can confirm that men and women may disagree on when advice is helpful. In related news, it is warm enough to sleep outside."

"My grandfather was a fantastic fisherman... they used to call him the ""Master-Baiter""."

"My favorite sex position is the JFK. It's where I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."