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Joke of the Day
"My sister thinks macadamia nuts is an STD."
Next Joke
"You find it offensive. I find it funny, that's why I'm happier than you."
"Little on the nose that the Pope's riding around in a Fiat, isn't it? But then, I guess we know he's into that Fiat luxe."
"All barcode tattoos ring up as ranch dressing. Every single one of them."
"I'm glad I'm not invited to Joan Rivers' funeral. She might be cremated and I hate the smell of burning plastic. Too soon?"
"Did you hear about that Native American who drank ten cups of tea one night? They found him dead the next day in his teepee"
"Talking to your Urologist... ""Urine Trouble"""
"I overheard someone say all Asians are ninjas. I would've told him how racist that sounded but he was black and I didn't want to get mugged."
"How do you tell if someone is ticklish? You give them a couple of test-tickles."
"We've replaced Steve's regular coffee with a detailed understanding of the impending heat death of the universe. Let's see if he notices."