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Joke of the Day
"Another ""Iron Man"" Joke Iron Man is a superhero. Iron Woman is a command."
Next Joke
"You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan."
"My friend had one of those novelty leg lamps from the Christmas Story movie, but he lost it recently... Now he's a lamputee"
"The battery level on my phone pretty much dictates my life."
"regrets? [thinks back to the time i drunkenly watched Spy Kids 3-D & it forever ruined my netflix recommendations] yeah i've got regrets"
"I consider it a personal victory everytime that I don't ask a person wearing a leg cast if they've broken their leg."
"""you okay man?"" listen dude... i know what im doing *lights a cigarette backwards* ive seen Guy Code like six times"
"English teachers' favorite knock-knock joke Knock-knock Who's there? To To who? *To whom*"
"I don't want to tell you how to run your company, Hostess, but liquidating just as weed becomes legal seems like a bad business decision."
"The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' we should call it prosti..... oh wait."