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Joke of the Day
"You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan."
Next Joke
"I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, 'change color and escape in a cloud of ink'"
"Where do poor meatballs live? In the Spaghetto. (I 've seen this on reddit before, one of my all time favorites though!)"
"If the free sample lady at the grocery store isn't handing out something I want I don't even acknowledge her as a human being."
"""My wife is such a racist... she won't let me date black girls."" -Andy Breckman"
"How many married women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Yeah right, like married women ever screw anything other than poolboys....."
"New boss. How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job? Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)"
"I hear a lot of black men are joining the Mexican Cartel.... I guess it takes Jaun to know De'Quan"
"I get my guns from a guy named T-Rex... He's a small arms dealer"
"[first day as a server] me: how would u like your steak person: well done me: thank you that's so kind it's my first day & i'm very nervous"