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Joke of the Day

"My friend had one of those novelty leg lamps from the Christmas Story movie, but he lost it recently... Now he's a lamputee"

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"I'm woman enough to admit when you're wrong"
"what if the Blair Witch was just lonely"
"If an entire garden was variegated... would it take longer to get in to?"
"Commercial for elbows: A frustrated man steers his car with totally straight arms. ""Why did I go with the cheap arms?!"" Narrator: ""Elbows"""
"What did the hookers left leg say to the right leg? Between you and me, we can make a lot of money."
"My friends and I got so high in Amsterdam that we went to a local store and stole a couple of bags of ice.... We took them down to the canal and released them back into the wild."
"The iPhone 8 probably won't even have a phone in it."
"My boss caught me sleeping on the job and told me to clean out my desk as if he didn't just see how lazy I am."
"I used to wait for hrs with my finger on the record button of a boom box after requesting a song on the radio. I'm familiar with commitment."