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Joke of the Day

"""you okay man?"" listen dude... i know what im doing *lights a cigarette backwards* ive seen Guy Code like six times"

"What do you get when you breed a Shih Tzu with a Poodle? A shit poo"

"Pregnant Kim Kardashian is moaning in a magazine, ""Nothing looks good on me"" I disagree. A grand piano dropped from a considerable height would."

"If you get a bigger bed You have both more and less bedroom"

"What do Paul Walker and Pink Flyod have in common? Their last hit was the wall"

"GOD: hey my son is broken, he won't absolve the sins of mankind IT GUY: try turning him off, waiting 3 days, then turning him back on again"

"What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme. Courtesy of u/AVeryHappyCamper"

"When someone texts you k', just reply, ""L M N O P Q R S T you V W X why Z"""

"What is my dentist's favorite indie band? Fluoride and the Machine"

"Went to a skipping competition I didn't really want to, but I got roped in"