41638

Joke of the Day

"Why did the scare crow get a raise? Because he was outstanding in his field. Annnnd you all have cancer now."

"Thinking about starting an independent pharmacy called ""Netflix and Pills"". Quality patient care with 24/7 Netflix while you wait. Thoughts?"

"Hey guys, don't you just hate it when you're woken up in the middle of the night for sex? can't wait to get out of prison."

"A set of gold chains would be a great retirement gift.. For a really good slave."

"Don't forget the 3 most important factors in choosing the right words for a ubiquitous real estate mantra: Locution, locution, locution. *twitter: @chippedbeef*"

"Talking about planets with my nephew. He asked if you could Plow thru Uranus because it's all gas"

"What sound does a pinewood derby car make when you rev it? Wooooooden Woooooooden Woooooden!"

"The police didn't believe me when I told them I found a flying carpet... They called the whole thing fabricated."

"Looks like someone is stealing our jokes from r/jokes I was sent this by my roomate, http://www.tickld.com/x/the-25-best-two-line-jokes-ever-14-is-priceless What shall we do reddit?"

"Why didn't the LoL champ care when she crashed her car? Because it was Elise"