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Joke of the Day

"Thinking about starting an independent pharmacy called ""Netflix and Pills"". Quality patient care with 24/7 Netflix while you wait. Thoughts?"

"The other night my girlfriend and I had parked in a quiet road for a bit of fun when a policeman caught us. He gave me a ticket for doing 69 in a 30mph zone..."

"*going through mail* ""bills bills bills bills bills"" ""I think I'll unsubscribe from Daily Ducks Magazine."""

"Why did Bob get 'Emo' Grass for his lawn? Because it cuts itself."

"How do you make a sheep jump off a cliff? Put a redneck behind it."

"If I was a squirrel I'd chuck my nuts in your hole!"

"What do Nicki Minaj and Santa have in common? Hoe, hoe, hoe."

"How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb? ""How many do you think it takes?"""

"TIL The New Jersey Devils have never changed their logo or uniform design/colours. No new New Jersey jersey."

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him"