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Joke of the Day

"What does your hot mom where under her skirt? A Freudian slip."

"(Neighbor, curious): What's wrong with little Timmy? (Mom, sad): He went to Jared."

"A magician was driving through a neighborhood... and then he turned into a driveway."

"I'd love to give the man who invented Incognito mode a cookie. Sadly it was erased."

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Having persuaded autocorrect that I don't want to duck anything, I hope the council don't take my complaint about the pond the wrong way."

"Lost and confused in an helicopter"

"What did the Doe say when she came out of the woods? I'm not doing that again for two bucks."

"What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con desending.."

"- If you insinuate that I'm fat again, I'm leaving you! - Don't be selfish, think about the baby. - What baby? - Oh, so you're not pregnant?"