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Joke of the Day

"Don't forget the 3 most important factors in choosing the right words for a ubiquitous real estate mantra: Locution, locution, locution. *twitter: @chippedbeef*"

"What's the best language for jokes? Punjabi."

"A guy goes to see a psychiatrist He's frantic. He says to the doctor, ""I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'M A WIGWAM, I'M A TEEPEE!"" The doctor says, ""calm down, you're two tents."""

"I will not be giving shelter to any men in my bunker after the apocalypse only women, and there is a dress code.... #Doomsday2012"

"Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years. His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees. Apparently she stood him up."

"How to make an idiot curious? I'll post the answer tomorrow."

"Most people's religion or faith has a switch which they can conveniently switch on and off whenever it suits them."

"So a Korean ferry capsized with over 280 people lost overboard. Not entirely a waste. Now we have 280 extra divers looking for flight MH370."

"I became a proud dad today My son is actually four but he was a boring little cunt for the first three years."

"What did the gallon of pasteurized milk say to the other? ""No homo."""