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Joke of the Day

"Don't forget the 3 most important factors in choosing the right words for a ubiquitous real estate mantra: Locution, locution, locution. *twitter: @chippedbeef*"

"macklemore could poop into his own bare hands onstage & half the write-ups would be ""ah finally a rapper who isn't obsessed with shiny cars"""

"Boy and girl in class asked the teacher a question. ""Can kids of our age have kids?"" Teacher replied "" NO Never!!"" Boy said to girl : ""See I told you not to worry!!!!"""

"I was going to make a joke about that bus that rolled over and killed the driver and 9 passengers... But there's no pun in ten dead."

"Why couldn't the chameleon change colors? It had reptile dysfunction."

"I learned today that ""bust a nut"" doesn't mean ""work really hard"" and boy aren't I embarrassed about using it in all those work memos."

"Sorry, grandma. You stood up. You have to be Slim Shady now."

"What do they call spiders in the Middle East? Iraqnids"

"[As a tornado destroys their home] Wife: You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Husband: I really miss Baywatch."

"Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars."