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Joke of the Day

"If Willy Wonka manufactured anything other than candy that movie would just be a dark tale of a negligent factory owner murdering children."

"Always put sunglasses on your tree. Then, you'll get the proper shade."

"Have you heard of the Tempura House? It's a shelter for lightly battered women."

"Dear Californians- Quit telling everyone there's a drought. The ocean is right there. You're just lazy."

"What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre!"

"""Do you masturbate?"" Friend:""Do you Jack off? Me:""Yes, I do"". Friend:""How many guys a day?"""

"The description is hilarious! The title is deeply misinformed."

"First day as a drug dealer. Made a ton of sales. Boy are people forgetful, they all left their wallets at home.Gonna be rich tomorrow though"

"How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope imsosorry:("

"Why was Farmer Bob so good at his job? Because he was outstanding in his field"