195089

Joke of the Day

"Dear Californians- Quit telling everyone there's a drought. The ocean is right there. You're just lazy."

"Q: What kind of tree grows in your hand? A: A palm tree."

"Me and a buddy went to an amputee party It was crawling with pussy."

"What do a hippie-chick and a hockey player have in common? Both don't shower until after 3 periods."

"What is loud and sounds like ""apple""? (scream) APPLE!!!"

"As hillbillies age, they're called hillwilliams."

"Right now feels like the eye of the storm, or, if you're younger than 25, the drop in the dubstep song."

"Where do South Africans buy their pastrami and salami? At the Nelson Mandeli."

"My class requires 3 1/2 in. floppy diskettes, they're only $1 each, but the time machine to go back to 1997 is extremely expensive."

"There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note ""Don't eat me"".Now there's an empty plate and a note ""Don't tell me what to do"""