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Joke of the Day

"Mom. Dad. I like my coffee like I like my women. I don't like coffee. I'm gay."

"What does 80 year old pussy smell like? Depends"

"What's yellow and hurts when it gets in your eye? Bull dozer"

"My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She was livid: ""What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"""

"I cheated on my girlfriend yesterday We were playing Monopoly, she left and I stole some money from the bank. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."

"My boss wanted to know why I was away for so long. I told him I was in the restroom and he doesn't believe me. He insists I'm lying but I'm really just full of shit."

"I believe if Floyd fought Ali ... I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's"

"I just found out that my geology professor passed away... my sediments go out to his family"

"I'm not saying the wife's a bit rough but you can see all the blokes on the beach dressing her with their eyes."

"joke about mods [deleted]"