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Joke of the Day

"First day as a drug dealer. Made a ton of sales. Boy are people forgetful, they all left their wallets at home.Gonna be rich tomorrow though"

"What is a depressed person's favorite outdoor activity? Cryaking. I'm sorry."

"I work for a company who specialises in vacuum packed marine mammals. We're famous for our airtight seal."

"Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way"

"Some people wouldn't know good literature even if... ...they got slapped across the face with a Moby Dick."

"People always keep making jokes about how people died in the Holocaust, my grandpa died during the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower and broke his neck."

"I've gotten away with blaming the dog for my farts dozens of times so I hope my wife believes me when I tell her that he just shit my pants."

"Why did all the Black people move to Detroit? Because they heard there were no jobs there."

"I married Mrs. Right... I just didn't know her first name was Always"

"I like what you did with your hair How'd you get it to stick out of your nose like that?"