190698
Joke of the Day
"""Do you masturbate?"" Friend:""Do you Jack off? Me:""Yes, I do"". Friend:""How many guys a day?"""
Next Joke
"""Getting real tired of your crap..."" Said no dung beetle ever."
"""No more self-deprecating tweets,"" I whisper fatly."
"A man sees a blonde girl staring intently at a ice cube in her hand The man asks the girl why she's staring at the ice cube and she responds, ""I'm trying to figure out where it's leaking from."""
"That's about as useful as... ...Anne Frank's drumkit."
"You know what's a load of crap? Anal sex"
"My wife said she wished she never woke up this morning. Turns out we do have something in common."
"Did you know the world's first sniper was Mexican? He even inspired the Sniper motto. Juan shot, Juan kill."
"I didn't spend years perfecting this blank, vacant expression so you could mistake me for someone who cares, lady..."
"Dating is a win-win. If things go well, you eat food and fall in love. If they don't, you still eat food and that's all that really matters."