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Joke of the Day
"My doctor told me I'm artistic. I have no idea how he could tell."
Next Joke
"Bert asks Ernie, ""Ernie do you want to get ice cream?"" Ernie responds ""Sure Bert"""
"You know what my favorite Armchair book is? Mein Kampfy Kouch"
"Why do Lannisters hate turtles? Cause they can't stab them in the back"
"The Pope just changed his relationship status to It's Complicated..."
"What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer."
"Why does it take 2 feminists to screw in a lightbulb? One to screw in the lightbulb and one to give me a blow job while I supervise."
"Did you hear about the pirate porno? All hands on dick!"
"[3 guys corner me in an alley] 3G: Bet you're scared Me: *shows them my wife's credit card bills* 3G: *hand over their wallets* holy shit"
"I'd make a political joke but it would just end up being elected."