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Joke of the Day

"Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?"

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"Alex: This term indicates a zero score in tennis. Contestant: What is love? *dance party erupts*"
"What is the most common educational degree in New Mexico? Kindergarten dropout."
"ANY voicemail left by the elderly starts off with 2 minutes of ""HELLO? HELLO?"" and ends with them trying to dial another number."
"The lifeguard yelled at me for peeing in the pool. I was so startled, I almost fell in."
"I hate it when I remove myself from around people to fart in peace and they follow me right after I have release a big one."
"Good credit is like Good Pussy, It sticks around until the money is gone."
"Test joke I was gonna tell a gay joke butt fuck it"
"NyQuil before beer, nothing to fear. Beer before Nyquil, never been a 30-foot panda on the French Riviera selling kites to angry trees."
"Called my boss, what's the different between work and your daughter. I will not be coming into work today."