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Joke of the Day

"ANY voicemail left by the elderly starts off with 2 minutes of ""HELLO? HELLO?"" and ends with them trying to dial another number."

"Why were the Soviets able to beat the Western Allies to Berlin? Because they were Russian!"

"A man just got a car for his wife. Now, thats what you call a fair trade."

"Women have always been selfish, even when they were created. They had to have 2 x-chromosomes not 1."

"Things i use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%"

"So I have a joke about pizza... ...but it's too cheesy"

"What's the difference between a pothead and a gay Muslim? Potheads get stoned by choice."

"Two guys walk into a bar The third one ducks"

"Why are Werewolves such pessimists? They refuse to look at the silver lining."

"[Forest] GF: Oh god it's a bear! Me: *Stuffs socks down front of pants* GF: What are you doing? Me: Making myself look big Bear: Well hi"