66781

Joke of the Day

"ANY voicemail left by the elderly starts off with 2 minutes of ""HELLO? HELLO?"" and ends with them trying to dial another number."

"A masochist and a sadist are doing their thing... The masochist says: ""Hit me"" and the sadist answers: ""no..."""

"What will they now use on photos for LGBT magazines? an airbroosh"

"TIFU by posting on the wrong subreddit hehe"

"KID: Why's the sky blue DAD: It's sad MOM: Light refraction DAD: ... MOM: ... DAD: (*mumbling*) light refraction"

"What did the pony say when he sang with a sore throat? Sorry, I'm just a little hoarse!"

"*looking under hood of car* ""Well there's your problem"" *removes cardboard box with engine drawn on it*"

"Why is suicide illegal? Because no one wants to clean up your mess."

"My brother wanted me to watch his kid So I spent HOURS and HOURS childproofing my house. Wouldn't you know it? That fucker still got in."

"What do you call an underwater restaurant that serves cured meats to sharks? A Sharc-eatery"