116107

Joke of the Day

"NyQuil before beer, nothing to fear. Beer before Nyquil, never been a 30-foot panda on the French Riviera selling kites to angry trees."

"Deactivating your Facebook account is the new black friend."

"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Juan"

"What happened to the car-salesman who was spamming in r/Germany? He got autobahned"

"My wife and I are working on our marriage. She's more attentive to my needs and I've mostly stopped telling other women I'm a single father."

"TV before 6pm: ""Men are idiots."" TV after 6pm: ""Women are idiots"" TV after midnight: ""Abs are easy to get!"""

"What starts with Y and ends with a D? You're gonna get raped!"

"What kind of karate do Rabbis know? Jew Jitsu."

"How do you celebrate an Ethiopian child's first birthday? By laying flowers on their grave."

"X post from meanjokes: michael schumacher regained consciousness today, have your heard how the doctors did it? They sat him on the window seat of the bus"