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Joke of the Day

"Alex: This term indicates a zero score in tennis. Contestant: What is love? *dance party erupts*"

"The last thing I remember was my Mom telling me to ""Take Care"". I did, and now Liam Neeson is chasing me."

"I want to give my ex a great Valentines present to show him how much I still care. I think I'll go all out and buy him a Toyota."

"[1st date] Me: don't let him know you're a lobster Him: we should check out my hot-tub later Me: 'yeah...sure' *nervously clicks claws*"

"Yo mama's so fat... Instead of a cartwheel she does a ferriswheel."

"Why does my porn website have a share to google+ button? ...I dont want people to know I use google+"

"Radio One has banned its DJs from playing Madonna songs, saying that at 56 she is old and irrelevant. Yeah, at the BBC they only like them young."

"So I flushed my extra viagra down the toilet... I haven't been able to close the lid in weeks."

"friend: ""we should have a drink sometime"" *never contacts them again*"

"What Do You Call a Terrible German Hot-dog Stand Owner? The Wurst Guy."