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Joke of the Day

"Good credit is like Good Pussy, It sticks around until the money is gone."

"Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn."

"I'm the guy in charge of making the room smell nasty in the Glade commercials."

"Time flies when a falcon steals your wristwatch."

"Did you hear about the antelope... Did you hear about the antelope that was trampled by a herd of elephants while getting dressed? He was a self dressed stamped antelope."

"What do you call a vegetarian with bad gas? A leaf blower"

"If Biff's gang had smoked E-cigarettes in 'Back to the Future 2,' it would've seemed like the least realistic thing in the movie."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster farmer and a prostitute with diarrhoea? The farmer shucks between fits."

"I wish Bill Clinton would stop pointing his finger at everyone, Lord knows where that finger has been. #DNC #DirtyPoonTang"

"What do you call the death of the Trilobites? An Epoch fail!"